The Battle for My Zen Soul

 

“Get behind me, Satan!” Is it possible to have grown up in this Christian-influenced land without hearing quoted Jesus’ rebuke of Peter’s counsel? I doubt it. Certainly even non-Christians have heard it echoed in one form or another, if only in faux reproach for having tempted a friend with a decadent dessert or something! Buddhism, similarly, is a tradition in which demonic influences tempt our hero, perhaps most notably right before he realizes enlightenment. Just as Jesus was tempted to act contrary to divine plan, so the Buddha was tempted by Mara’s efforts to foil his ultimate awakening.

 

Are we to take literally these struggles of good against evil, for want of a better description, or are they best interpreted figuratively? I think most Western Buddhist practitioners would lean to the latter. Largely, we’ve moved beyond the dualistic thinking that leads us to think of this thing or that person as inherently good and another as inherently evil. And yet we still sometimes hear people speak of a malicious “ego” that sabotages our efforts toward awakening. Apparently, so the thinking goes, our unawakened self hampers our awakening self in whatever way it can – with doubts, distractions, restlessness, boredom, and temptations. It’s as if a battle of good versus evil is taking place within our very being.

 

In reality, we’re merely creatures of habit – susceptible to maintaining whatever patterns of behavior we’ve grown accustomed to. If we’re trying to exercise more, we must work against the inertia of our more sedentary lifestyle until our increased activity level becomes a longer term pattern. If we aspire to maintaining a healthier diet, we must work against our habitual cravings and our lifestyle-related time pressures that keep us defaulting to less healthy choices. It’s like this with spiritual practice as well. Nothing malicious lurks deep within us trying to hamstring our awakening. We’re merely persisting in old patterns until new ones become established.

 

This dualistic thinking can also result in attempts to stifle healthy critical thinking. We might be told that it’s our “ego” talking if ever we question some Buddhist teaching or practice-related matter. If our practice were “stronger,” so the thinking goes, we wouldn’t be questioning things as we do. If we were “better” Buddhists, we would simply fit ourselves seamlessly into whatever Buddhist community is most accessible to us. In other words, anything but wholehearted and unequivocal acceptance of whatever teaching is being promulgated or whatever religious structure might be in place risks denouncement as mere “ego” – meritless, distracting, destructive ego. Please keep in mind, though, that the Buddha practiced with, and ended up leaving, multiple teachers prior to striking out on his own and realizing enlightenment. 

 

I bring this up following my previous post on the intersection of spirituality and religion for obvious reasons. Some may dismiss that which does not fit neatly within a prescribed religious framework as being nothing other than the work of ego. Thus, instead of the Venn diagram from my previous post showing the circle of spirituality intersecting with that of religion, some might urge us to reconfigure our reality so that the circle of religion is fully circumscribed within the circle of our spirituality. In other words, fully and authentically internalize absolutely all aspects of your chosen religion.  Some might even suggest that the two circles should be one and the same! This would require all spiritual inclinations not contained within the religious domain to be squelched or drawn into its fold.

 

Ultimately, though, suppression of who we are is both unhealthy and unsustainable. Religious figures like Jesus or Buddha were not constrained by the religious teachings in which they were immersed. Those religious teachings – Jewish, of course, for Jesus, and Vedic with respect to the Buddha – catalyzed their further spiritual growth rather than constraining it. In contemporary terms, then, we might recognize Jesus and Buddha as spiritual and self-actualizing individuals who were deeply influenced by the religious dogma of their day, but not constrained by it.

 

Lest my words be misconstrued as being dismissive of religious tradition, please read my previous sentence once again. I am merely advocating for the healthy presence of religion in our lives. Religion provides abundantly for a great many with respect to fostering community, creating avenues for charitable and social justice work, marking rites of passage, and providing comfort and meaning. Without the structure that religious tradition provides, we wouldn’t have the benefit of cohesive systems of thought and conceptual frameworks that might serve to foster further spiritual and self-actualizing growth. Furthermore, without at least some deference to religious tradition, we might find ourselves flailing around without the benefit of the countless practice hours offered up by untold numbers of beings over the course of thousands of years.

 

However, even though tradition does have a great deal to offer, there is still no uniform agreement amongst all Buddhists or Buddhist sects regarding what constitutes the right way to live or practice. Do we feel drawn to Zen Buddhism? Perhaps Tibetan Buddhism appeals to us more. What about Theravada Buddhism, Pure Land, etc.? Are we comfortable at practice centers that (at least at present) primarily serve a new immigrant Buddhist community, or do we feel the need to practice with those with whom there is no obvious language or cultural difference? We converts must choose which tradition to follow or model our practice after. In reality, though, we may simply stumble onto a particular tradition and only later learn that there was a choice to be made.

 

So, where do things stand in the battle for my Zen soul? Well, in keeping with Zen tradition, I’m actually quite agnostic with respect to the existence of enduring souls. And the teaching of no-self certainly still resonates with “me” as one of the most profound of Buddhist teachings, which is largely why that good self / bad self dichotomy doesn’t ring true for me. There’s definitely no battle going on, then, and there may not even be an enduring soul to fight for! However, there is zazen (seated meditation). And there’s the bodhisattva ideal, the Heart Sutra’s teachings regarding emptiness, and so much more. Few areas of my life, if any, are untouched by formal Zen practice, and I’ve no doubt that it will remain so until I take my final breath. But, all the same, I doubt that I’ll be returning to formal Zen practice any time soon. That path has disappeared beneath my feet. I’m in spiritual terrain now. And there appears to be no turning back.

 

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Spirituality and Religion diagrams courtesy of the author

 

Copyright 2021 by Mark Robert Frank